Eric D. Snider

Snide Remarks - Jun 30, 2008

A Good Sense of Rumor

Every now and then I like to perform a valuable public service by quoting the gossip magazines and then telling you what's really being said. Gossip magazines aren't hard to read, of course, as they use a seventh-grade vocabulary. But often the messages are couched in polite language that the uninitiated reader might have trouble deciphering. So here are some samples, along with my translations, all taken from the July 7 issues of Us Weekly and Star magazine.

What they say: "Gwyneth Paltrow turned heads in a Stella McCartney jumpsuit at 'Iron Man's' L.A. premiere."
What they mean: "Gwyneth Paltrow turned heads because people wondered why someone had put a jumpsuit on an ironing board."

...Read the rest

Snide Remarks - Jun 09, 2008

Art Depreciation

One of the high points of my recent trip to New York City -- and I plan to write at least 20 more columns about this trip, so get used to it -- was seeing my friends Patrick and Lindsay. They are a married couple, though they were single when I first met them, back in Utah. In fact, I'd like to think I'm part of the reason they got married. It isn't true, but I'd like to think it.

...Read the rest

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