From the makers of “The Singles Ward” comes a hilarious new Mormon comedy called “It’s Funny Because It’s True.” We have obtained a top-secret copy of the script, which we thought was strange, since “The Singles Ward” didn’t even HAVE a script.
SCENE: BYU CAMPUS
McKAY: Hey, Spencer, want some Jell-O?
SPENCER: Only if it’s green and has shredded carrots in it.
McKAY: We Mormons sure eat a lot of Jell-O!
SPENCER: It’s funny because it’s true!
GORDON JUMP: I played a child molester on “Diff’rent Strokes.”
McKAY: Hey, here comes that girl I like.
SPENCER: She sure is pretty. She’s an eight-cow woman, for sure.
McKAY: I’ll say! Her friend, though, is not as pretty.
SPENCER: You might say she has a “sweet spirit”!
McKAY: Ha ha!
SPENCER: It’s funny because it’s true!
PORTER ROCKWELL: I do not approve of violence.
CLOWN: (honks nose as he cartwheels past) PRETTY GIRL: Hello, guys.
UGLY GIRL: Hi!
SPENCER: Hey.
McKAY: The four of us ought to go on a double date. We should hike the Y, or go to Hogi Yogi, or eat Jell-O.
SPENCER: Dude, you already talked about Jell-O.
McKAY: Fetch!
J. GOLDEN KIMBALL: I wish you would watch your language.
McKAY: Well, let’s go watch a show at one of the many community theaters, then.
DONNY OSMOND: I don’t like musical theater.
PRETTY GIRL: Yeah, that would be totally fun.
UGLY GIRL: Yes, let’s go on the double date! I’m unattractive, and I think of nothing but getting a husband!
FRESHMAN: (in puberty voice) Hi, guys. I just got my mission call! I’m going someplace bland and unexciting, but I’m pretending it’s awesome.
McKAY: It’s funny because it’s true!
SPENCER: People really do that!
ORRIN HATCH: I’m a famous Mormon politician.
PRETTY GIRL: He’s right! He is!
SPENCER: It’s funny because it’s true!
McKAY: Hey, we’d better take off. It’s almost time for Family Home Evening. (to camera) Get it? Family Home Evening?
SPENCER: It’s funny because you mentioned a thing I’ve heard of!
FRESHMAN: I’m going to buy some suits, and then I’ll enter the MTC.
McKAY: Once you’re there, you can’t date girls anymore.
SPENCER: It’s funny because it’s true!
MERLIN OLSEN: Anyone remember me? Anyone at all? Hello?
UGLY GIRL: Young children go to Primary!
PRETTY GIRL: And sing songs!
SPENCER: My oh my, that is funny.
McKAY: Funny because it’s true.
PRETTY GIRL: I went to Relief Society, and the sister teaching the lesson put a centerpiece on the table.
UGLY GIRL: That’s what always happens!
SPENCER: Your mentioning it is a funny thing!
ORSON SCOTT CARD: Why aren’t there any good LDS writers?
McKAY: It’s funny because it’s true!
"The Singles Ward" was released in Utah theaters on Feb. 1, 2002. I was among many critics to declare it amateurish and sloppy, and altogether unfunny. The jokes presented in this "sequel" are an exaggerated version of the jokes "Singles Ward" was full of: cameos and broad references to things Mormon audiences would be familiar with. In "The Singles Ward," you don't need to say anything ABOUT Jell-O; just mentioning it is enough to get a laugh.
I have chronicled elsewhere the small battle we had with the people who marketed the film, who twisted negative reviews to look positive in their advertising. That incident eliminated whatever goodwill I may have still had for the movie. The company went on to produce other films of varying quality, though most were better than "The Singles Ward."
