Click the “Children’s Letters to Raven-Symone” category at the right for previous entries, which give a fuller background. The basics: Kids and stupid adults think that if a Web site mentions a famous person, the site must somehow be connected to that celebrity, and they write in, asking for the famous person’s e-mail address. Tired of being pestered by inane requests, I made up a fake e-mail address for Raven-Symone and posted it here, with a clear disclaimer explaining that it was fake. Predictably, people used it anyway.
Now, of course, the e-mail address has spread. I suspect that most of the people who write to it now did not find it here on EricDSnider.com, but on some other site, perhaps on Raven-Symone message boards or chat rooms or wherever it is you kids hang out nowadays. Those people can be excused for thinking it’s a viable address, as they did not see the context in which I posted it. So we don’t mock their letters for being mis-sent. We mock them only for being illiterate and hilarious.
CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO RAVEN-SYMONE
March 26, 2006:
Hey Raven, I am such a big fan!
I love all of your shows that you have down.
I would be more then happy if you would to sent me an
e-mail at [e-mail]!
Please Raven, please e-mail me.
From your biggest fan
Harry [last name]
* * * * *
March 27, 2006:
hello Raven! I am one of your fans for every show!
Raven is m y best friends name! and my name is haven!
well, pleeeeeeaaaaase email me back! 😎 -Haven
* * * * *
March 27, 2006:
Hey girl, My name is Raven too. Me and my best friend Haven found your E-mail address online.My moms friend was working at the talent agency that you went to when you were two years old. They said you were amazing and sent you to the Bill Cosby show. I love your T.V. show I also think you are a wonderful person. Well I will E-mail you sooner or later bye P.S. My big sister thinks you are pretty bye love Raven
* * * * *
[The following three e-mails all came from the same person, who I believe has written before, too, also claiming to be Raven’s cousin — a cousin who has no way of actually contacting her.]
March 29, 2006:
raven you need to email me because we need to talk about my movie and i talk to grandma
March 29, 2006:
raven i know cyou dont know me bout im your cousin and we need to talk
April 4, 2006:
raven we need to talk about something o yha my friend off of high school musical whants me and him on your show
* * * * *
April 1, 2006:
hi rae this is kenisha i am your biggest fan I want be to be a fashion desinger can u give me the hook up.love,kenisha
* * * * *
April 5, 2006:
Dear Raven-symone,
I am very sorry to take up your time, but I my client, Alexander [last name], would be perfect for your show. He’s African American, age 11, very intelligent, very cute, and overall a fun and great actor. If you give him a chance, I know your show will be even greater. Please give this young gentleman a huge opportunity, he will be a success. I know that he will bring great energy to your show. I know that you are very intelligent, and a great producer within the That’s so Raven show, please give this name to your producers if possible.
Again I am sorry to take up your time, but I think that this will be a very great chance for him and for the show. I know that most likely this won’t get to you, but at least I tried. I hope this makes it to you. Thankyou for your time.
Sincerley,
Danielle [same last name as “client”]
You can reach me at [phone number]
* * * * *
April 10, 2006:
I was hoping you would win the award for best actor,I got mad when you did not win sorry.Read this.
* * * * *
April 16, 2006:
hey raven i just want to say hey raven can you send me your phone number please i,m such a big fan of your please i,m begging you i would tell nobody
[I’m going to start using that same construction when I call home. “Hey Mom, I just called to say: ‘Hey Mom, how are you?’ So I will do that now. Hey Mom, how are you?”]
* * * * *
April 21, 2006:
Dear Raven,
I’m such a huge 100 fan of you. [“Huge 100 fan”? What?] I watch your show. I’m watching your show real soon now. [What?] Your so cool. Your such a gorgeous attractive young woman. Your friend is so cool aswell. My favourite Two characters would have to be Raven which is you and also Chelsea Daniels who is Anneliese Van Der Pol. The both of you are legends
From Greg
* * * * *
May 1, 2006:
Dear Raven,
My name is Juliana. I want to know if you can come to my house on Thursday or Wednesday.
I live in Florida. I live at [complete address, including zip code, so that Raven could MapQuest it]
Sincerly,
Juliana [last name]
* * * * *
May 7, 2006:
dear Raven,
i really would like to know every thing about you because i really try to watch that so raven every day and the new shows every friday ,but have to take care of my aunty’s baby alot so i can’t watch That’s So Raven every day
your #1 fan
Anna
[#1 fan? I beg to differ. A true #1 fan would watch EVERY day, regardless of babysitting duties. I’m just sayin’.
* * * * *
May 8, 2006:
I am your #1 Fan ! I watch That’s so Raven all the time at the right time . [I tried watching it at the wrong time, but it wasn’t on.] Please write me and my sisters back! By the way our names are Ayshana,Abria,and Aaliyah!
My {Ayshana} e-mail address is [e-mail]
My sisters Abria’s is [e-mail]!
[And my cousin Aaalaariaa’s e-mail address is aaalaariaa@aaaa.com]
* * * * *
[The following is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever read. Remember that Raven is 20 years old and plays a high school student on her show.]
May 12, 2006:
How are you? Good I Hope.
How are yourself and family doing? Hope their doing alright. Well My Name is Gene, And, Currently Live in Brooklyn, NY. And the reason of Emailing you is to tell you how much of a beautiful person you are. I really find you Adorable, attractive, and so…so…cute. I honestly don’t want to come off as a fan, but I do admire your history and the talent you posses. You seem to be one special person, and I would like to get to know the real you sometime. on camera your the apple of your mothers eye, but in all honesty I would like the know the real Raven. like what makes you laugh, what makes you cry. Does Love do come around twice. Is life the most ideal gift to have, or is living in the spot light is what life is really known to be the newest trend. Well as for me I’m an upcoming music producer, and in as little of 7 weeks will obtain my A+ and Network+ certification in computer engineering. so I have a lot of “irons in the fire” Nerveless I’ve seen the blog’s and fan sites that they have of you, and I’m not sure on going on “here say” i would like to stare into that person’s eye’s hear what they have to say. and build a truthful understanding and knowledge about that person. Especially you Raven. When you available feel free to email me back ASAYC (As Soon As Your Comfortable).
Stay blessed.
Gene [last name].
* * * * *
[These two are from the same person.]
May 14, 2006:
I really want to meet u b4 . My name is [name] and live in [city]. If i had three wishes they would be:1 i wanna meet raven,2 i wanna act with raven,3 i wanna be friends with raven! E-mail be back at [e-mail] Bye!
May 17, 2006:
my name is [full name] and i live in [city].i wactch ur shows all the time. please e-mail me back at [e-mail] and i have more to say about me
[I redacted the first name and location of this person because I’m going to tell you her last name, and I didn’t want her to be identifiable. Her last name is Dookie. DOOKIE!! Awesome. She is also the same person who wrote the first angry letter in this entry.]
* * * * *
May 18, 2006:
I m srry 4 emailing u. I know u r getting over 1000 emails every day. But.. I want to be an actor. I took NUSTARS acting class. I always hear people say ‘ravens my role model’! I want people to say that to me one day. [You want people to tell you, “Raven’s my role model”?] Please give me some tips! thanxz.
* * * * *
[This person almost understands what’s going on. Almost.]
May 22, 2006:
hi,
your very smart, pretending to be raven symone so every one will stop bugging you.
but tell me can you help me find her email address or a way of contacting her. maybe by postage. im not one of those crazy peopple whos gonna tell every one. im too old for that. in fact i was actually lookin for her website where you could email her there, but her website is down.
cos i would really like too talk to her. i mean i know there is a celebrities out there that u can post letters to like, lil’romeo and mariah carey, cos ive seen them receive them on mtv cribs. cos i could just send them to her house uno.
if you can help thanks.
appreciate it.
