We who consider film criticism a worthwhile and legitimate endeavor are plagued by what we call “quote whores,” the critics who will provide positive blurbs for ANY movie, no matter how bad, just because they love being quoted in the ads.
Just a week ago, one of my colleagues was saying it would be fun to start a Web site in which he (under a fake persona) wrote ridiculously glowing reviews, just to see if anyone would quote him. But it seems someone has beaten him to it.
I give you The Weekly Blurb, a very funny site devoted to the hyperbolic, highly quotable praising of all movies, designed as a parody of sloppy, overly enthusiastic movie reviewers, complete with factual errors and misspellings.
The site itself is mum on who the actual writers are, but there are hints elsewhere on the Net that it’s the work of some of the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” crew.
The reviews are full of hilarious overstatement — “Get ready to play ball — balled up on the floor with laughter, that is! ‘Benchwarmers’ is stepping up to the plate to become the comedy hit of the season!” — and subversive backhanded compliments. (“Whether you’re a twelve-year-old boy or just act like one, you’ll stand up and cheer for ‘Benchwarmers’!”)
On “Basic Instinct 2”: If you thought Basic Instinct 1 was sexy, and you can’t wait for Basic Instinct 3, you sure won’t want to miss Basic Instinct 2!
On “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector”: I haven’t actually seen the film yet, but the clips I’ve seen will have you tearing out your mullet with laughter!
On “V for Vendetta”: V meets Evey (Natalie Portman), and falls in love with the “v” in her name, even though it is small while his is capital. To prove his love he kidnaps and terrorizes Evey, but with the good manners of a gentlemen and a smile on his face, mostly because he always wears a mask.
And so on. Give it a look. So far they’re adding a new one every week. Other post-MST3K comedy projects have moved in fits and starts, but I’m hoping this one lasts. (Note: Contains some PG-rated language.)
