I used to know a fellow named Scott Haycock, aka Puppet Guy, a talented puppet-maker and all-around creative type who was lots of fun at parties and who would sometimes freak people out. (It may be apocryphal, but I’m told he kept a small vial of his own blood in his refrigerator.) But who cares? He made me laugh.
For a short time in 2001-2002, he produced a children’s show, populated mostly by puppets, for Provo’s local cable channel. I do not remember the name of the show, or how many episodes were made, or whether it actually ever aired on television. But one time he asked me to appear as a guest on the show, singing a song about safety, which was evidently a favorite theme among the puppet characters. Scott wrote the song, setting it to the tune of the Mormon hymn “Choose the Right.” I revised some of Scott’s lyrics, jazzed up the music, and performed it with two of the puppet characters coming in on the choruses.
Scott subsequently sent me a digital copy of the performance, which has sat on my hard drive for more than four years, waiting for me to do something with it. It is now on YouTube, for all the world to see.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4y3sRDq0d0]That’s Scott as “Li’l Scott” at the beginning; I don’t remember the name of the other puppet, nor of its puppeteer, nor of the cameraman. (Sorry.) I do remember that I had the lyrics taped to the far right side of the piano, just out of camera range, and that we did three takes, of which this was evidently the best (?) one.
The lyrics, in case you can’t make them out:
Safety first, everywhere you look there’s danger
Safety first, there’s peril all around
Safety first, there’s poison in the kitchen
Live through every day both safe and sound
Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let zero accidents be your goal
Safety first, don’t drive faster than you’re supposed to
Safety first, don’t put salt into your eyes
Safety first, especially when handling chicken
“Danger is fun” is one of TV’s lies
Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let living till you’re 90 be your goal
Safety first, the Drano’s not for drinking
Safety first, don’t try to touch the sun
Safety first, don’t leave the house at nighttime
It’s better to be safe than to have fun
Safety first! Safety first!
Let safety mark the way before
Safety first! Safety first!
Let not dying gruesomely be your goal
Let not falling into quicksand be your goal
Let not losing any fingers be your goal
