As I’ve mentioned in previous entries, for some reason I often get e-mails from people wanting contact information for famous people. Raven-Symone’s fans are the worst about it, though other celebrities have been requested, too. It’s never anyone huge like Brad Pitt or Will Smith. It’s always mid-range celebrities. I guess people figure even if I DID have Brad Pitt’s e-mail address, I wouldn’t give it out. But Raven-Symone, sure! She’s not THAT famous.
Anyway, these stupid requests became so frequent that I finally had to put a notice on the page from which you can e-mail me that reads:
STOP: If you are going to ask Eric how to contact a celebrity, DON’T. Eric has no such information for ANY famous person. If you ask him anyway, despite this warning, Eric will write back and tell you how stupid you are. And he’ll be right to do so.
That has curtailed the requests considerably. Yet still there are people who slip through. The other day I got this one, from someone signing her name “Temmy,” with the e-mail address “dollies_04eva@somethingsomething.com.” She writes:
hey wots raven symone email address
True to my word, I replied as follows:
You are very, very stupid.
Temmy fired back a response that, while consisting of few words, is one of my favorites ever:
how dere u call me stupid
How dere I indeed! I replied and explained myself:
On the page you e-mailed me from, it says this:
STOP: If you are going to ask Eric how to contact a celebrity, DON’T. Eric has no such information for ANY famous person. If you ask him anyway, despite this warning, Eric will write back and tell you how stupid you are. And he’ll be right to do so.
In other words, I warned you that if you wrote to me asking for Raven-Symone’s e-mail address, I would call you stupid. So you really have no room to complain when I do.
Properly chastened, Temmy now offered this nearly incomprehensible follow-up:
ok im sorry but it has always be my dream 2 be an actress and i want 2 be actin wiv her if u tell me raven email i promise not 2 tell any1 in my lfe do dis and i will 4eva be grateful 2 u and if i start actin i will neva 4get u cos u did dis kin of fin 4 me thx god bless u
Now I understood. Temmy is Jamaican, and for some reason she has decided she should write everything phonetically according to the way she speaks. “Fin” for “thing” is what tipped me off. Re-read her e-mails with a Jamaican accent in mind and they’ll make more sense.
Anyway, I replied to tell her I don’t have Raven’s e-mail address. I also asked what made her think I WOULD have it. She did not reply, perhaps having had so much ganja she had to lie down.
