Movie Reviews
Cold Mountain
Once you accept Southern accents coming from the mouths of such famously non-American actors as Jude Law and Nicole Kidman, you realize much of the beauty of Anthony Minghella's "Cold Mountain" is in fact the casting of it.
Each actor brings his o...
Paycheck
Adaptations of Philip K. Dick's sci-fi short stories have been a mixed bag so far. "Blade Runner" (1982) was good, "Total Recall" (1990) was mindless, "Impostor" (2002) was stupid, "Minority Report" (2002) was great, and now we have "Paycheck," a fas...
Cheaper by the Dozen
"Cheaper by the Dozen" is a proud proponent of what they used to call "family values," before that phrase came to be used only ironically. Its central characters, the Bakers, are a family with 12 children, none of whom, not even the teenagers, ever e...
The Company
In choosing whether to watch Robert Altman's "The Company," it is imperative that viewers consider one thing: Do you love ballet?
Those who answer "no" must avoid the film at all costs, for the bulk of its scenes consist of ballet performances and...
Monster
Charlize Theron came on the scene in 1996, with small roles in "That Thing You Do!" and "2 Days in the Valley." She has appeared in 17 more films since then. I have reviewed 11 of them. I can recall her performance specifically in almost none of them...
Mona Lisa Smile
You are in for a good time if you go to see "Mona Lisa Smile," particularly if you enjoy films about cold, catty women who lie constantly. (Don't worry; what few men there are in the film are dishonest, too.) If you like the dour, porcelain-faced Jul...
Calendar Girls
A story like "Calendar Girls" could only have come from England. We Yankees are too coarse for anyone to be shocked if our old ladies posed nude for a calendar. But English women, known for being reserved, prim and -- how shall I say this? -- not ex...
The Fog of War (documentary)
I was born in 1974, so I have no actual memories of the Vietnam War. Everything I know about it, I learned second-hand, after the fact.
I think that prevents me from fully grasping the weight of "The Fog of War," Errol Morris' striking documentar...
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy is the greatest cinematic achievement of the past 30 years. It could earn that distinction on the merits of its technical and logistical feats alone (Three epic films shot back-to-back! Amazing computer-generated effec...
Stuck on You
Bobby and Peter Farrelly will probably always be known as envelope-pushing filmmakers for whom nothing is off-limits, but that reputation comes almost entirely from the hair-gel scene in "There's Something About Mary." ("Me, Myself and Irene" was leg...
AKA
Duncan Roy, in introducing his writing/directing debut "AKA" at Sundance, said, "I was sent to prison for a year when I was 20. These are the events that sort of led up to it. I hope you enjoy watching that."
Knowing the film is at least partially...
Something’s Gotta Give
Though I am pleased to see Jack Nicholson starring in films in which he plays men coming to terms with the aging process (as he did in "About Schmidt"), thus suggesting perhaps Nicholson is doing the same, I am not pleased that this new-found introsp...
In America
Above all else, "In America" is clearly an act of catharsis for its writer/director, Jim Sheridan, who uses the story of Irish immigrants coming to New York in the 1980s to tell his own story. His previous films, "My Left Foot" (1989), "In the Name o...
Girl with a Pearl Earring
The historical costume drama "Girl with a Pearl Earring" dazzles the eye with its beautifully photographed Dutch scenery and 17th-century apparel, while dulling the senses, perhaps, with its slow-moving story and inscrutable protagonist. It is as gor...
The Statement
The movie that "The Statement" wants to be but isn't is a thought-provoking drama about a Nazi war criminal haunted by his past, seeking to avoid capture a half-century later, constantly searching for redemption.
That's what "The Statement" isn't....
Big Fish
Ed Bloom is a man with many stories, but his favorite is the one where he finally caught the legendary uncatachable catfish in a lake near his Alabama home, using his wedding ring as a lure.
The likelihood of that story being true is slim, partic...
Power Trip (documentary)
One of the advantages of living in the Soviet Union was that you didn't have to pay for electricity. The state provided it. Free electricity and free beatings, that was the deal. When the Soviet republic of Georgia declared independence in 1991 (shor...
Pride & Prejudice
It is a bold endeavor for a first-time filmmaker to take a beloved story like Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and set it in the 21st century, but Andrew Black has done it and has done OK with it.
Then again, the transition from 19th-century ma...
What Alice Found
So what did Alice find in "What Alice Found"? Truck-stop whores, that's what!
Seems plain-Jane 18-year-old Alice (Emily Grace) has fled her dull New Hampshire existence to move in with her best friend, who is just starting her first semester at t...
Monsieur Ibrahim (French)
Young Moses Schmitt (his friends call him Momo) is a boy without guidance. He lives with his father in a Paris flat that has a full view of the neighborhood prostitutes on the street below. Dad hasn't quite reassembled his life after Mom left them ye...
The Last Samurai
Tom Cruise barrels through "The Last Samurai" with a level of physicality he hasn't displayed on film in some time. Even in action pictures like "Mission: Impossible" and "Minority Report," his movements have seemed perfunctory, like he was too caugh...
Honey
I'm offended that the makers of "Honey" think I've never seen a movie before. At least, I assume that's why they thought they could get away with making a film consisting of nothing but clichés, old plot devices and stock characters. If I really had...
The Haunted Mansion
When Disney announced it would create films based on its theme park attractions, all sentient beings in the universe thought: Uh-oh. This is gonna suck.
The moronic "Country Bears" (2002) did nothing to allay our fears, but then the world was plea...
The Cooler
Imagine a man so unlucky, a casino employs him to walk around the floor, casually touching gamblers who are winning too much and instantly changing their fortunes.
Now try imagine someone playing this character with more credibility or soul than ...
Timeline
The idea in "Timeline" is that since the fax machine transports documents from one place to another, it should be possible to transport people the same way. Somehow the movie overlooks that when you fax something, you're not sending the ACTUAL thing ...
The Missing
Now more than a century removed from it, two opposite images of the American Old West remain in our culture. One is of a harsh, unforgiving era of lawlessness and desperation, of sickness, disease and random Indian attacks. The other is the "Little H...
Bad Santa
"Bad Santa" is a hilariously vulgar film that I thoroughly enjoyed but that I cannot in good conscience actually recommend to anyone. Well, maybe to a few friends and acquaintances whose tastes I know well enough to know that they, too, will find it ...
The Triplets of Belleville (French)
Animation was invented so that movies like "The Triplets of Belleville" could be made. It's a perfect blend of outrageous visual humor, lovable caricatures and imaginative storytelling. There is practically no dialogue, but the story comes through as...
The Cat in the Hat
Bearing a slight, coincidental resemblance to a book by Dr. Seuss, "The Cat in the Hat" is an 82-minute advertisement for bodily functions.
"Try the new fart today!" "Have you had a belch lately?" "Pee: It's what's for dinner."
These, along wi...
Gothika
Suppose there's a female psychiatrist who works with inmates at a penitentiary for the criminally insane. Then suppose the doctor herself goes crazy. Do you suppose they'd put her in the same prison she worked at, so her former patients would now be ...
Acts of Worship
Man, the life of a junkie sure does suck. I got that point fairly early in "Acts of Worship," yet for some reason "Acts of Worship" kept telling me over and over again. It made me dislike "Acts of Worship," which lacks the dramatic power or strong ac...
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
I imagine life at sea must be terribly dull. What would you do all day? Would you get the sense that, no matter how far you traveled, the ocean was big enough to prevent you from ever arriving anywhere?
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the W...
Looney Tunes: Back in Action
Bugs Bunny puts it best in his new film: "If you don't find a rabbit in lipstick amusing, you and I have nothing to say to each other."
I believe this sums up the merry, slapstick appeal of the old Warner Bros. cartoons, some of which is recapture...
My Architect (documentary)
There's something a little too self-indulgent, maybe too personal, about "My Architect: A Son's Journey." It is partly a documentary about the architect Louis I. Kahn, who died in 1974, but it is mostly about his son Nathaniel's attempts, 25 years la...
Elf
On "Saturday Night Live," Will Ferrell's genius came from his mastery of one of comedy's most basic elements: You have to be committed. Nearly anything can be funny as long as the performer completely believes in what he's doing, no matter how absurd...
Gloomy Sunday (German)
"Gloomy Sunday" is, as the film's subtitle tells us, a song of love and death ("Ein Lied von Liebe und Tod"). Composed by Rezso Seress in 1933, the song earned the eerie distinction of being the inspiration for -- or at least the soundtrack to -- a r...
Love Actually
While many films extolling the virtues of love are too gooey to be palatable by most humans, "Love Actually" wields its sweetness gracefully, drawing us in with sincerity and humor before ladling on the syrup.
Its conceit is one that is difficult...
The Matrix Revolutions
By now, the "Matrix" series seems high on the heroin of its own coolness. What was groundbreaking, even breathtaking, in the first entry feels like beating a dead horse in the third. Now there are guys who can shoot guns while standing on the ceiling...
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (documentary; Spanish)
The BBC was planning to make a boring ol' documentary about Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, but instead they got to film a coup! Talk about being in the right place at the right time.
Filmmakers Kim Bartley and Donnacha O'Briain were in Caracas ...
Brother Bear
Disney keeps talking about shutting down its hand-drawn animation department altogether because recent entries like "Treasure Planet" and "Atlantis" have failed to set the box office on fire. In typically twisted Hollywood logic, Disney figures that ...
Die Mommie Die!
An amalgamation of films like "Mommie Dearest" and "Sunset Boulevard," "Die Mommie Die!" is a campy gay comedy that will be an acquired taste for viewers. At the press screening I attended at the Sundance Film Festival, several audience members laugh...
In the Cut
If there ever was an era when America wanted to see Meg Ryan naked -- and this is doubtful -- it surely ended 10 years ago. Yet here comes "In the Cut," a flat, pretentious psychodrama in which Meggers does the full monty, for several seconds, and th...
Alien: Special Edition
Ridley Scott's "Alien" (1979), now back in theaters in a "director's cut" version, remains one of the best examples of sustained tension. There is a sense of ominousness, a sense that something bad is going to happen, from the moment the film begins....
Shattered Glass
I don't know how much people outside the world of journalism remember Stephen Glass. In 1998, he was fired from The New Republic magazine for committing some major ethical violations, to put it mildly. "Shattered Glass," the engrossing new film that ...
Sister Helen (documentary)
The key to making a documentary that will appeal to mainstream viewers is to tell a good story. Maybe this sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many documentarians seem to think their only job is to regurgitate a bunch of fly-on-the-wall footag...
Radio
"Radio" begins with the title character, a mentally retarded South Carolina man played by Cuba Gooding Jr., having the opportunity to be hit by a train. The train misses him. The film goes downhill from there.
I do not believe the individuals resp...
The Singing Detective
By the time Keith Gordon's odd, extremely stylized remake of "The Singing Detective" gets around to its point, the audience is liable to be angry at it for dragging its feet so long, and for being so weird in the process. At least, that was my reacti...
Scary Movie 3
The Wayans Brothers' "Scary Movie" (2000) was a good bit of outrageous, anarchic fun. Its sequel, a year later, was rushed, sloppy and underdone. The Wayanses bailed out of the third film in the pre-production stage, and the man who stepped in saved ...
Beyond Borders
There are three chapters in "Beyond Borders," each with a different feel and a different approach to being boring.
This is a groundbreaking film, really. While most movies insist on having "plots," this one boldly proceeds without one, flying in ...
Wonderland (2003)
John Holmes, as if you didn't know, was the star of more than 1,000 porn films in the 1970s. That someone who is not a woman can attain star status in the world of straight porn is pretty impressive by itself, and Holmes', er, talents were apparently...
Elephant
I've heard God's omniscience explained in this manner: Suppose all of time were laid out in a line so that everything was visible all at once. The explanation goes that God sees it that way, viewing every human being's past, present and future all in...
Pieces of April
How many films dedicate themselves to showing the true spirit of Thanksgiving? Usually Christmas gets all the press when it comes to true-spirit-showing, and Thanksgiving is seen merely as a harbinger, a lesser holiday whose arrival indicates the com...
Sylvia
Sylvia Plath fans, unite! A film has been made celebrating her depression! And due to sanctions made by her family, none of her actual poetry is used in the film! So it's a movie about a creative type who's really sad! Imagine the joy in watching it....
Runaway Jury
"Runaway Jury" is the eighth movie to be based on a John Grisham novel, and it's all been done since 1993, when "The Firm" came out. I'd wager that in the ensuing decade, only Shakespeare has been adapted for the big screen more often.
So there th...
Veronica Guerin
People who aren't journalists sometimes wonder what motivates the people who are. It's not the money, clearly; you can tell from the way newspaper reporters dress that they don't make much. It's not fame, which usually eludes your average reporter, e...
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
And it came to pass that "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" begat "Halloween," which begat "Friday the 13th," which begat "A Nightmare on Elm Street," and they all begat "Scream" and the subsequent age-of-irony slasher films that were afraid to take thems...
Mystic River
It's fitting that Clint Eastwood's somber, elegiac "Mystic River" is as quiet as it is, being replete with characters who cannot communicate.
This is literal in some cases, as with young Silent Ray, who is mute, and with the estranged wife of a po...
Girls Will be Girls
"Girls Will be Girls" plays out like a shticky, vulgar sitcom in which the featured characters are bitchy stereotypes. One of them says, "I know my looks are starting to go," and another one replies, "Honey, your looks are home and in bed." That's ab...
Kill Bill: Vol. 1
Quentin Tarantino's love of movies is exceeded only by his love of violence. "Kill Bill: Vol. 1" is a tribute to both his true loves, wedded together in an indulgent, outlandish, and thoroughly entertaining ballet of blood.
Inspired by, and follow...
Intolerable Cruelty
Though "Intolerable Cruelty" is set in the present day, its roots are in the screwball farces of the 1930s and '40s. It maintains a safe distance from the inner emotions of its characters (a Coen Bros. constant), puts comedy at center stage, and perp...
Day of Defense
As the single worst Mormon-themed movie so far -- a record that I hope stands for a long time -- "Day of Defense" should be considered an embarrassment not just to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but to film-goers in gener...
The House of the Dead
"The House of the Dead" is the sort of delightfully bad teen splatter flick that exists without any excuse in the world. It is a rip-off of countless previous slasher films, and of every known zombie movie, but I can't imagine the filmmakers would be...
Bus 174 (documentary; Portuguese)
You may recall the minor flap that a 2002 episode of "The Simpsons" caused when it depicted the family visiting Brazil, taking the opportunity to make all manner of jokes at Brazil's expense. Officials from that country were angry and demanded an apo...
Out of Time
"Out of Time" introduces a nightmarish moral quandary for its central character -- a true no-win situation -- then backs down and allows for an easy resolution. The movie is fun, but it talks the talk without walking the walk.
Denzel Washington pl...
The Station Agent
The main character in "The Station Agent" is a dwarf, but dwarfism is almost never an issue in the film. Early in his tentative, halting friendship with another guy, the new friend asks, "Do you people have clubs?" But he doesn't mean dwarfs; he mean...
The Work and the Story
"The Work and the Story" poses an interesting question: If Richard Dutcher, founder of the Mormon cinema movement, disappeared, what would become of the movement? The answer: A lot of bad filmmakers would come out of the woodworks, and they'd make cr...
School of Rock
We now add Jack Black to the list of actors who appear in films whose comedy relies primarily on whether you happen to think that actor is funny.
"School of Rock" also has the wonderful Joan Cusack, a likable crew of youngsters, and a fair helping...
Bubba Ho-Tep
Elvis didn't really die. See, what happened was, he got tired of the limelight and switched places with a particularly good Elvis impersonator. It was that guy who died in 1977; the real Elvis went on living that guy's life, posing as an Elvis impers...
Under the Tuscan Sun
The star of "Under the Tuscan Sun" is the breathtaking Italian scenery. Photographed by respected cinematographer Geoffrey Simpson ("Oscar and Lucinda," "Shine"), the colorful vistas and countrysides are truly gorgeous to behold.
I am somewhat le...
The Rundown
When Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson burst onto the movie scene with his role in "The Mummy Returns" (2000), all of America sat up and took notice: "Here is a guy who cannot act!" America thought. "We hope he returns promptly to TV wrestling, whence he cam...
Duplex
I don't enjoy movies whose principal comedic device is frustration. I'm talking about films where the protagonist can't get a break, nothing ever goes right, he keeps getting close to success and then keeps losing it. You need setbacks in a story, of...
Underworld
Movies about vampires, werewolves, or vampires AND werewolves are great fun to write about because no matter how eloquently you describe the plot, it is always going to sound stupid.
In "Underworld," the vampires and werewolves are two warring fa...
Anything Else
Woody Allen's "Anything Else" is what his "Annie Hall" would have been if he had cast less-talented actors in it and dragged it out for an extra 15 minutes. It features an astounding amount of dialogue, even by Woody Allen standards, but lacks the wi...
Cold Creek Manor
Even though I see a lot of movies, I'm still not very good at predicting what will occur in them. I get a general sense, but I rarely peg the specific events. Yet in "Cold Creek Manor," a rather plain suspense film, I don't think there is even one th...
Secondhand Lions
"Secondhand Lions" has all the makings of a hokey, ridiculous family-friendly drama, the kind of eye-rollingly oversimplified tale that uses charm to make up for its lack of smarts. I said it has the makings. Somehow, though, it avoids most of the pi...
Matchstick Men
The men referred to in the title of "Matchstick Men" are two con artists, Roy (Nicolas Cage) and Frank (Sam Rockwell). They live in the artificial city of Los Angeles, have a number of artificial identities, and use small-time fictions to scam averag...
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Time was, a film making only $25 million would not warrant a sequel. But in a year when even something like "Jeepers Creepers" gets a follow-up, we have "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," the sequel to 1995's "Desperado" (itself a sequel to the ultra-low-...
The Book of Mormon Movie
Whether or not you believe The Book of Mormon is true -- and I should say up front that I do -- many of its stories are prime movie material, full of drama, excitement and inspiration. I suspect one day a good film will emerge that makes use of the b...
Lost in Translation
Set against the backdrop of modern-day Tokyo -- a place that is foreign in every sense of the word to most Americans -- is Sofia Coppola's lovely new film "Lost in Translation," following two individuals who are as bewildered by life itself as they a...
Cabin Fever
"Cabin Fever" begins with a man waving a dead rabbit in front of what turns out to be a dead dog. For the characters, things go downhill from there. For the audience, we are treated to a 90-minute homage to the true classics of the horror genre: "Evi...
Party Monster
Admit it: Part of you, maybe even a big part, has always wanted to see Macaulay Culkin play a drug-addicted homosexual murderer. It seems fitting that in his first film role in nearly a decade, the former child star should re-emerge in a part that is...
The Order
"The Order" was originally to have been released in January 2003, but was delayed so improvements could be made in the special effects. It is sobering to think that a film was actually NOT GOOD ENOUGH to be released in January, which is the dumping-g...
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
David Spade has never had a hit film on his own, and he has given us little reason to think he deserves one. When he is being snarky and cruel, as in his old "Hollywood Minute" bit on "Saturday Night Live," he can be extremely funny. But on his own, ...
Zero Day
Ben Coccio's "Zero Day" will forever be paired with Gus van Sant's "Elephant," the higher-profile and slightly better film that was also released in 2003 and dealt with high school shootings. The pairs of films that coincidentally deal with similar s...
Jeepers Creepers 2
The first part of this review will be about the movie "Jeepers Creepers 2," and only about the movie. The second part will address some external factors that may color one's view of the film and that have been weighing heavily upon me.
First, the ...
The Legend of Johnny Lingo
Strictly speaking, "The Legend of Johnny Lingo" is not a "Mormon movie." Its director and producers are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but the film itself has nothing to do with the religion.
But its primary financial ...
My Boss’s Daughter
What "My Boss's Daughter" fails to understand about comedy is that the audience cannot laugh when it is too busy being frustrated at how stupid the characters are. If a problem has an easy solution that is ignored in favor of wacky hijinks, we are no...
Thirteen
Evan Rachel Wood's performance in "Thirteen" is far better than "Thirteen" is. She plays a middle school student named Tracy who is in the painful stage between childhood and adolescence, just learning how to be a woman and doing it all wrong, partic...
The Medallion
The fun of a Jackie Chan film is seeing him do things that look impossible, but knowing he's really doing them. Once he starts performing feats that are actually ARE impossible, aided by wires and digital effects, the fun evaporates. Ironically, a su...
Freddy vs. Jason
Between them, the "Friday the 13th" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" series have produced 17 movies -- and "Freddy vs. Jason" is better than all of them.
I say that as a person who has viewed each of those 17 films and found little to admire. They ar...
Uptown Girls
"Uptown Girls" is a bewildering film. It would appear to be a syrupy, female version of "About a Boy," in which an irresponsible, terminally unemployed grownup is taught important life lessons through a friendship with a precocious youngster. But it ...
Grind
Legend has it Dr. Seuss wrote "Fox in Sox" on a dare to see if he could write a book using only 120 simple words. "Grind" seems to have been written on a similar dare, to see if a coherent, entertaining screenplay could be written using only the word...
Open Range
Of the 10 films in the past decade that Kevin Costner has starred in, only two have recouped their budget at the box office, and those only barely. ("Message in a Bottle" cost $30 million and made $53 million; "Tin Cup" cost $45 million and made $54 ...
American Splendor
I have never read an issue of Harvey Pekar's "American Splendor" comic book, but the man's reputation is impressive. Continuing the work of R. Crumb (his friend and collaborator), Pekar revolutionized the comic world, creating books without superhero...
S.W.A.T.
Few film genres are more devoted to their clichés than the cop flick. You have your renegade, loose-cannon cops who butt heads with their stuffy, by-the-book lieutenants, who threaten to take away their badges if they screw up again. Then their unor...
Le Divorce
While stumbling around, befuddled and confused after seeing "Le Divorce," knowing it was intended as a comedy but failing to see what parts anyone thought would be funny, I discovered what I think may be the source of the problem.
The movie comes...
Freaky Friday
The notes I took during "Freaky Friday" begin sarcastically and gradually become softer, and are thus an accurate depiction of my feelings toward the film. It is not a movie for me, a grown man; it is for mothers and their teenage daughters. Yet I ul...
Gigli
We knew Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez could make bad movies separately, but "Gigli" demonstrates that, in a true example of synergy at work, their combined efforts can generate even more badness.
Larry Gigli (pronounced "Gee-lee") is the name of ...
American Wedding
Say what you will about the "American Pie" trilogy, but one thing is certain: The films are consistent. They are outrageously crass, vulgar and sexual, with a hint of sweetness under it all. Whether that's good or bad is in the eye of the beholder, b...
The Secret Lives of Dentists
"The Secret Lives of Dentists" is adapted from a Jane Smiley novella called "The Age of Grief," a title that says a lot more about what we're dealing with here. The protagonist, a dentist named David Hurst (Campbell Scott), says he's reached the age ...
