Movie Reviews
Meet the Blacks
There is far more stimulation in contemplating what an odd mess "Meet the Blacks" is than there is in watching it. Trust me, I've done both. The movie itself is a careless, mostly unfunny mix of slapstick, insults, racial humor, toothless satire, and...
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
The conflict between Batman and Superman is barely a factor in the long, loud, lugubrious "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice," but the second part of that terrible title is accurate, or at least hints toward accuracy. The real purpose of the film is...
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was a genuine phenomenon in 2002, an under-the-radar indie comedy whose word-of-mouth kept it in theaters for 51 weeks, earning $368 million worldwide. That it should result in a sequel is no surprise. That the sequel shoul...
Midnight Special
Jeff Nichols, writer-director of down-to-earth dramas "Shotgun Stories," "Take Shelter," and "Mud," uses his latest, "Midnight Special," to branch out into science-fiction. Not the flashy, expensive kind, mind you, but the Jeff Nichols kind: thoughtf...
The Bronze
The perfectly serviceable premise of the sadly underdone comedy "The Bronze" is that a former gymnast from Amherst, Ohio, is still pathetically milking the brief, minor Olympic fame she earned in Rome in 2004, swanning around Amherst as if the Games ...
Pee-wee’s Big Holiday
Pee-wee Herman's return in "Pee-wee's Big Holiday" is, like so many revivals, a mixed blessing that appeals to our sense of nostalgia while only doing a so-so job of recreating the thing we're nostalgic for. Written by Pee-wee himself (aka Paul Reube...
Hello, My Name Is Doris
One hundred percent of decent people with human souls agree: It's been far too long since Sally Field, national treasure, has taken the lead role in a movie. This works to the advantage of a film like "Hello, My Name Is Doris," which is funny and swe...
10 Cloverfield Lane
Don't be distracted by the title of "10 Cloverfield Lane," which puts you in the mind of "Cloverfield," the excellent filmed-by-a-bystander monster movie from 2008. What connection, if any, this film has to that one doesn't matter, and knowing (or gu...
London Has Fallen
In 2013, there were two movies about the White House being attacked by terrorists. This was a popular thing to imagine back in those days. One of them, the death-filled but bloodless, PG-13 "White House Down," was quite fun as mindless escapism. The ...
Zootopia
The credo of the city of Zootopia, as featured in the movie "Zootopia," is that it doesn't matter what kind of animal you are -- "anyone can be anything." It's essentially the same "be yourself" message found in every Disney cartoon, but this time th...
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
"Whiskey Tango Foxtrot," about a news producer challenging herself by becoming a war reporter in Afghanistan, is also about Tina Fey challenging herself by headlining a movie that's not an all-out comedy and doesn't pair her with a familiar costar. I...
Gods of Egypt
The fact that almost every actor in "Gods of Egypt" is from northern Europe rather than Egypt (or even the general region) has raised eyebrows, but that's the least of the film's problems. Maybe the apology from Lionsgate a few months back for the ca...
Eddie the Eagle
There are two kinds of inspiring Olympic movies: the kind that awe us with accounts of athletes in peak condition; and the kind that amuse us with accounts of regular people who somehow found Olympic glory. This second kind is more relatable. You're ...
The Witch
"The Witch" is not the movie to see if you want to be scared in a fun, Friday-night-date sort of way. It's the movie to see if you want to be deeply unsettled -- not momentarily rattled by ghosts lurking in shadows or killers popping out of closets, ...
Race
When you have a story that's about track and field as well as racial prejudice, the temptation to call it "Race" is too great to resist, and we should not fault the makers of "Race" for it. They are not made of stone. In fact, that title turns out to...
Touched with Fire
There is a book called "Touched with Fire" (subtitled "Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament"), but the movie "Touched with Fire" is not based on it. Rather, it's writer-director Paul Dalio's semi-autobiographical story about bipolar ...
How to Be Single
"How to Be Single" is based on a novel by Liz Tuccillo, who co-wrote the nonfiction book "He's Just Not That Into You," which was made into a mediocre ensemble romantic comedy in 2009. "How to Be Single" was even adapted for the screen by the same wr...
Deadpool
As I understand it from watching the movie, what separates Deadpool from other comic book superheroes is that he doesn't want to be a hero; he knows he's in a comic book; he's willing -- nay, eager -- to kill bad guys; and he swears a lot.
The "D...
Zoolander 2
When a hit movie doesn't get a sequel for more than 14 years, one is tempted to believe it's because they were waiting until they came up with a good idea for one. After all, if they were content to deliver a mediocre cash-grab, they'd have struck wh...
The Choice
Like most movies, "The Choice" is based on a Nicholas Sparks novel. That means it's a romantic drama set near the ocean, everybody has a dog, and one of the principals is going to die. (Or almost die. Sometimes they only almost die.)
This time it...
Hail, Caesar!
Joel and Ethan Coen are Jewish, but the only one of their films to focus on the subject of faith directly is "A Serious Man," in which the conclusion they reach is "accept the mystery" -- i.e., you're never gonna figure it out; whatever will happen w...
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
As a movie, "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" sounds like the kind of thing that's going to be all downhill after the title, like "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was. (Not coincidentally, both films were based on books by the same person, Seth Grah...
Kung Fu Panda 3
As you may recall, or as you may have looked up on Wikipedia just now to refresh your memory, "Kung Fu Panda 2" ended with the revelation that Po (Jack Black) was not the only panda left, and that his real father was living in a secret village full o...
Fifty Shades of Black
With "A Haunted House," "A Haunted House 2," and now "Fifty Shades of Black," Marlon Wayans has proven that he doesn't need any help from his brothers to make a truly awful spoof. This is probably a great source of pride for him at family gatherings....
The Boy
"The Boy" is an atmospheric thriller in the old style, short on sex and violence, long on making the most of its meat-and-potatoes horror premise. It's too simple a movie to be a blockbuster, and not quite good enough to compensate for its lack of pi...
Ride Along 2
"Ride Along 2" is just like its predecessor, in that both seem destined for heavy rotation on TNT, to be half-watched for a few minutes at a time by channel-surfers and laundry-folders. Which is probably the best way to ingest a good-naturedly dumb a...
13 Hours
Michael Bay hasn't directed many movies that were good, but he's directed even fewer that were political (chanting "USA! USA!" isn't the same as being political). So we shouldn't be surprised that "13 Hours," Bay's movie about the Benghazi attacks of...
The Forest
There is a forest in Japan that's famous for being a common location for suicides. That's probably not a good selling point for the Japanese national park system (it really sounds like more of a German thing), but it supplies a decent premise for "Th...
Anomalisa
In his screenplays for films like "Being John Malkovich," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and "Adaptation," Charlie Kaufman has demonstrated two things: that he's fond of exploring themes of identity, memory, romantic love, and self-loathing...
The Hateful Eight
"The Hateful Eight" calls itself Quentin Tarantino's eighth movie, but that's only true if you count the two "Kill Bills" as one or don't count "Death Proof" at all (either method is acceptable). Fudging the truth to make the story better is second n...
Joy
"Joy" is a strange muddle of a film, frequently entertaining as it moves along but ultimately disappointing as we discover it's not heading anywhere. It's partly a biopic of a real person, but one whose last name is never given. (This remains true ev...
Point Break
The new version of "Point Break" is pretty dumb. But in other ways, it's not like the original at all. For example, it's tedious. Say what you will about Kathryn Bigelow's Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze 1991 cult favorite (for example, that it's pretty ...
The Revenant
A revenant is someone who comes back as if from the dead, usually for vengeance. That makes the title of "The Revenant" a bit of a spoiler, since the person in question isn't even presumed dead till it's two-thirds over, and doesn't return till after...
Sisters
Casting Amy Poehler and Tina Fey as sisters is an irresistible idea that should have been resisted until a better script than "Sisters" came along. The two are among the best duos currently working in comedy (not to mention their individual brillianc...
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Nerds who panicked over Luke Skywalker's absence from the trailers for "The Force Awakens" will be relieved to read the first sentence in the new "Star Wars" sequel's opening crawl: "Luke Skywalker has vanished." You see, the reason his whereabouts w...
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
Part four in the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" saga, subtitled "The Road Chip," retains the philosophy of the previous three, which is that there's no need to try very hard when your audience is composed of undiscerning children.
(Full disclosure: I m...
The Big Short
One of the frustrating things about the 2008 financial collapse is that many Americans, even smart ones like me, didn't really understand what had caused it. The banks had given too many mortgages to people who couldn't afford them, sure, leading to ...
In the Heart of the Sea
How do you turn the story of a giant murderous whale into something disappointing and forgettable? You hire Ron Howard, that's how.
The pedestrian director brings his generically competent touch to "In the Heart of the Sea," a maritime adventure b...
Night Owls
"Night Owls" begins at the end of an evening, with two drunk strangers stumbling toward bed together. We know even less about them than they do about each other: she's a beautiful brunette (Rosa Salazar) with a crazy streak; he's a funny doofus (Adam...
Krampus
Goodness knows there's no shortage of Christmas movies, but we could use a few more Christmas horror movies, don't you think? (Rhetorical question. What you think doesn't matter.) The juxtaposition of merry and scary -- look, they even rhyme! -- is i...
Chi-Raq
Whenever there is an uproar over an unarmed black man being killed by police (once a month or so), there is a backlash from people who say the outrage is misplaced. "What about the black-on-black murders that happen every day in Chicago?" they say. "...
Creed
Some of the sequels make this easy to forget, but the original "Rocky" was a sweet, inspiring little drama without much showiness. It followed a formula, but only partially (a formula wouldn't have let Rocky lose at the end), and it was about the cha...
The Good Dinosaur
"The Good Dinosaur" is Pixar's 16th film, and it might be its most peculiar. It has a brazenly simple story, though the five (!) people credited with conceiving that story are evidence of the movie's troubled production and frequent rewrites. Origina...
Victor Frankenstein
"Victor Frankenstein" starts with the mad doctor's assistant, Igor (Daniel Radcliffe), telling us, "You know this story." Well, then what are we doing here, Igor? Are you deliberately wasting our time?
As it turns out, yes, he is wasting our time,...
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2
Well, that's disappointing. After defying expectations with three rich, thoughtful movies, the "Hunger Games" saga comes to a fizzling conclusion in "Mockingjay - Part 2," an overlong half-story that doesn't provide the satisfying resolution it promi...
Legend
Everyone knows that when you have identical twins, one of them is going to be evil. That's just science. But what happens when they're BOTH monsters? That, my friends, is "Legend."
Written and directed by Brian Helgeland ("42," "A Knight's Tale")...
By the Sea
In "By the Sea," when Roland and Vanessa arrive at the picturesque seaside hotel in France where they have come to relax and rejuvenate, the first thing out of Vanessa's mouth is a complaint: "I smell fish." Upon checking into their room, she's annoy...
The 33
"The 33" is the perfect movie to see if you do not enjoy being surprised, challenged, or inspired. It tells the true story of the 33 Chilean miners who were trapped 2,300 feet underground for several weeks in 2010 before (spoiler alert if you do not ...
Love the Coopers
You know the plot where the girl gets someone to pretend to be her boyfriend when she visits home so her parents won't nag her about being single? And the one where a guy has lost his job but pretends to go to work every day so his family won't know?...
SPECTRE
Daniel Craig’s fourth outing as James Bond finds him wearier, less humorous, and more apathetic than before – and buddy, I’m right there with you. “SPECTRE” fills in the blanks of a standard 007 adventure, but it feels like those involved were merely...
Trumbo
It's hard to imagine, but there was a time when many Americans, including some elected officials, were convinced that our country was threatened by the very existence of certain foreign ideologies, and that it was necessary to keep an eye on any Amer...
Brooklyn
"Brooklyn" is a soft, cozy blanket of a movie, capable of producing content smiles at almost a weapons-grade level. Adapted by Nick Hornby from Colm Toibin's novel, and directed by John Crowley ("Boy A"), this story of an Irish girl who emigrates to ...
Our Brand is Crisis
"Our Brand Is Crisis" shows that no matter where else we may have fallen behind, America is still a great exporter of political skulduggery. Based on a 2005 documentary about the 2002 Bolivian presidential election, this slight political dramedy star...
Jem and the Holograms
"Jem and the Holograms" brings the '80s cartoon about an all-girl rock band into the real world. Sort of. That is to say, it's live-action, and it thinks it's presenting a real-world account of a band's rise to fame, but it's actually hilariously div...
The Last Witch Hunter
I hold movies to the same standard as people: if you can't be good, you should at least be fun. "The Last Witch Hunter," starring inarticulate golem Vin Diesel as an immortal Catholic tasked with keeping the peace between witches and regular folk, fa...
Experimenter
Stanley Milgram was a social psychologist whose work included studies on the "six degrees of separation" theory, which offers the reassurance that all members of the human family are connected to one another. But Milgram is better known for an experi...
Goosebumps
If there's one thing I know about the Goosebumps books, it's that they came out in the '90s and I never read them. They are spooky/funny/gross stories for tweens, yes? And there are like a hundred of them (Goosebumps books, not tweens)? OK, then I'm ...
Knock Knock
Despite a promising (or at least noteworthy) start with "Cabin Fever" and "Hostel," horror director Eli Roth is now probably best known to the widest audience as the actor who played Sgt. Donny Donowitz, the Bear Jew, in "Inglourious Basterds." Unlik...
Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs was a computer nerd who invented apples, alienated his friends, got cancer, and died. Some of these facts are explored in the movie "Steve Jobs," which, like its subject, eschews the usual formula in favor of something innovative. In this ...
Goodnight Mommy (German)
Fact: Identical twin children in movies are creepy. (In real life, too, if we're being honest, but never mind.) "Goodnight Mommy," a quietly alarming thriller from Austria, puts this truism to good use immediately, starting with scenes of young Elias...
99 Homes
The very first thing we see in "99 Homes" is the brain-spattered wall of an Orlando bathroom where a man has committed suicide rather than be evicted from his home. The evictor, a Florida-twanged foreclosure vulture named Rick Carver (Michael Shannon...
Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of The National Lampoon (documentary)
Some documentaries are important because they educate viewers on areas of life that they would otherwise know little about. For example, here's "Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of The National Lampoon," which performs the valuable service of i...
Hotel Transylvania 2
"Hotel Transylvania 2" confirms what its predecessor gave us reason to believe: that Adam Sandler can still be funny and likable; he just has to be a cartoon.
Sandler, who co-wrote the screenplay with old pal Robert Smigel, returns as the voice o...
Cooties
(NOTE: This review is from the film's premiere at Sundance 2014. It has reportedly undergone some tweaking since then, including a reshot ending. I have not seen the new version and don't know how different it is.)
The clever premise behind "Cooti...
Black Mass [AUDIO]
You know how there's crime? Especially in Boston? And how the cops and gangsters all grew up together? Sure. You've seen the Martin Scorsese movies -- "The Departed" for Boston specifically, but "Goodfellas" and "Casino" for the general vibe of viole...
The Scorch Trials [AUDIO]
"The Scorch Trials," the sequel to last year's surprisingly good young-adult adaptation "The Maze Runner," is again good, so maybe it's not surprising anymore.
Based on James Dashner's badly written but smartly plotted books, these films feature t...
Pawn Sacrifice
The Bobby Fischer biopic "Pawn Sacrifice" seems to have been made not because someone had insight into the chess champion's character, but because someone realized Bobby Fischer was famous but didn't have a biopic yet.
Directed with earnest bland...
The Visit [AUDIO]
Discounting "The Last Airbender," which was an adaptation, and "After Earth," which was Will Smith's idea, "The Visit" is the first purely M. Night Shyamalan film since "The Happening," way back in 2008. The new thriller -- in which 15-year-old Becca...
Learning to Drive
Learning to drive can be thrilling, risky, and surprising, but "Learning to Drive" is none of those things. It is instead a perfectly pleasant 90-minute diversion with little conflict and no major drama, a sunny entry in the sub-genre of Indie Films ...
Z for Zachariah
For a change of pace, "Z for Zachariah" is a post-apocalyptic drama that's not about a zombie infestation or teenagers killing each other (though it does have a romantic triangle, don't worry). Based very loosely on Robert C. O'Brien's novel and dire...
Sinister 2
A sequel to a film as unsettling as "Sinister" was almost bound to be disappointing -- either too tame by comparison, or too nasty. "Sinister 2" manages to be both.
Returning writers Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill continue their story wit...
Once I Was a Beehive
DISCLAIMER: You should not even listen to me about this movie because my friends made it and I am a biased liar. Ask anyone. I've never said anything critical about a friend. It's just not in my nature. Heck, I have a hard time criticizing strangers,...
Cop Car
In "Cop Car," the title character is found abandoned in a field by two 10-year-old boys, whose exhilaration at such a discovery can hardly be overstated. We've been introduced to the boys as they walked, with light-haired Travis (James Freedson-Jacks...
Mission: Impossible — Rogue Nation
One of the many admirable things about the "Mission: Impossible" movies is that they aren't churned out like factory products, all quick and hasty (one might say fast and furious). "M:I -- Rogue Nation" is the fifth entry in 19 years, a reasonable pa...
Vacation
The great "National Lampoon's Vacation" inspired a so-so Christmas followup (lots of dead weight in that movie), plus a couple other sequels that all parties have agreed to simply never mention again. The newest sequel, called "Vacation," is the firs...
Unexpected
Without coming across as a "message" movie or appearing to have any agenda at all, "Unexpected" underscores the vastly different experiences that a middle-class white woman and an inner-city black teen might have being pregnant in America. So light i...
The Stanford Prison Experiment
It's almost too fitting that "The Stanford Prison Experiment," just like the 1971 scenario it recreates, starts out well, then gets progressively out of control before dissolving into chaos. The real events offered chilling insight into how people co...
Ant-Man
Even though no large cities get destroyed in it, "Ant-Man" is a Marvel movie. (You can tell by the stop-the-movie-dead-in-its-tracks Stan Lee cameo.) The perpetually adorable Paul Rudd plays Scott Lang, a felon with a master's degree in electrical en...
Trainwreck
Amy Schumer, our current favorite potty-mouthed comedienne, is striking while the iron is hot with "Trainwreck," a rambunctious, hard-R-rated romantic comedy that showcases her sweetly poisonous manner. Schumer wrote the screenplay, which is rambling...
Strangerland
Why can't all bad movies be ugly to look at and pitifully acted? Why must there be movies like the sluggish Australian melodrama "Strangerland" -- overlong, ambiguous, and unsatisfying, yet marked by beautiful cinematography and a few terrific perfor...
The Gallows
"The Gallows" is a "found footage" movie (strike 1) that begins with a title card assuring us that what we're about to see is REAL (strike 2). Then it delivers 81 minutes of screaming nonsense filmed by characters who have no reason to continue filmi...
Self/less
You know how sometimes you're an old, cancer-ridden millionaire, and you don't want to die, so you pay a cryptic Englishman a lot of money to transfer your consciousness to a new body? Did I mention that you are Sir Ben Kingsley doing a thick Long Is...
Magic Mike XXL
True to its title, "Magic Mike XXL" is indeed bigger than "Magic Mike," in the sense that it's five minutes longer. Everything else about it is smaller. It's not as funny or engaging as its predecessor, it has almost no storyline, no character develo...
Ted 2
As "Ted" demonstrated and "A Million Ways to Die in the West" verified, the comedy stylings of Seth MacFarlane are best enjoyed in a carefully controlled environment -- say, an episode of "Family Guy," which is animated (making the absurdities easier...
Balls Out
Plenty of movies deal with high-profile college athletics, but why hasn't anyone made a comedy about intramural sports? Any situation where the stakes are low but emotions are high is ripe for mockery, and that's intramural play in a nutshell. Fortun...
The Overnight
If there's any message or insight to be gained from "The Overnight," anything that the characters learned about themselves or that might lead us to our own personal epiphanies, I failed to grasp it. This is not necessarily a criticism, merely an obse...
Dope
In "Dope," Shameik Moore gives a winning, sympathetic performance as Malcolm, a black teenage nerd in Inglewood, Calif., who runs afoul of gang-affiliated drug dealers and must outsmart them with a clever plan. In this he is aided by his geeky friend...
Inside Out
When the Pixar wizards are at their best, they create films that are complex and thoughtful yet also, magically, hilarious and kid-friendly. We've stopped being amazed at how deftly they weave mature ideas into their candy-colored fantasies, simply b...
Infinitely Polar Bear
Surely you'll agree that it is very adorable when a man with bipolar disorder refuses to take his medication or stop drinking, thus jeopardizing his own health and the well-being of his children. If you're not charmed by that scenario, then "Infinite...
Madame Bovary
There have been many film versions of Gustave Flaubert's 1856 novel "Madame Bovary," but this is the first one directed by a woman, French-born Sophie Barthes ("Cold Souls"), who wrote the adaptation with Rose Barreneche. Perhaps fittingly, and certa...
Jurassic World
I have no problem believing that the theme park John Hammond envisioned in the original "Jurassic Park" would eventually open despite what happened in "Jurassic Park." Sure, you'd think they'd have learned their lesson -- but no, actually, you wouldn...
Spy
Despite having almost literally the most generic title it could possibly have, "Spy" is a dizzyingly funny espionage comedy, with a non-farcical, non-spoof plot that works on a straightforward level, too. With several very funny performances and some...
Insidious Chapter 3
The law of diminishing returns is in full effect with "Insidious: Chapter 3," a mediocre follow-up to the half-decent sequel to the quite-good 2011 horror flick.
This one's a prequel, actually, focusing on a teenager named Quinn (Stefanie Scott) ...
Wild Horses
Robert Duvall has settled nicely into the Lovable Old Coot phase of his career, but he doesn't seem to be slowing down. The 84-year-old living legend wrote, directed, and stars in "Wild Horses," a sturdy Texas-set drama about an old rancher settling ...
We Are Still Here
"We Are Still Here" begins with a married couple moving to a creepy old house and immediately -- I mean immediately -- noticing strange phenomena. The fact that the disturbances begin even before the title appears, coupled with the give-away nature o...
Entourage
I never watched HBO's "Entourage" series, and seeing the movie does nothing to make me want to go back and catch up. Of course, the movie was intended to satisfy current fans, not woo new ones, and maybe those fans will enjoy it. Who knows? All I can...
Heaven Knows What
When the opening credits roll in "Heaven Knows What," the main character, a New York City street junkie named Harley (Arielle Holmes), has already slit her wrists. Things get better for her after that, but not much.
Directed with cinema-verite ra...
San Andreas
Let me tell you up front that I held my breath and gripped my armrests during most of the action scenes in "San Andreas," just like the movie wanted me to. I had fun with it. The Rock is a high-wattage movie star, and the special effects are perilous...
Tomorrowland
In the future, science will be able to produce a Steven Spielberg movie without any awe. The future is now! "Tomorrowland," from animation whiz turned live-action director Brad Bird ("The Incredibles," "Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol"), is a s...
Poltergeist (2015)
You probably remember the tragic fire at the MGM archives, where every single copy of the 1982 horror classic "Poltergeist" was destroyed, including, somehow, all the DVD and digital versions. I don't recall the event myself, but it must have happene...
